Hopefully the following article will help many of our Female Followers out there, who are in the process of building a Female Led Relationship. This article was written by Mistress Benay, and Published on BooksGoSocial.com
You can see Mistress Benay’s Complete Primer on Male Chastity and Female Led Relationships on Amazon by Clicking Here.
Male Chastity – The “Key” To A Successful Female Led Relationship
I would like to welcome you to the third installment of my Short Story Series which focuses on Female Domination and Female Led Relationships. If you’ve been following me and my books on Amazon, then you know that I also have a Female Domination Series of Full Length Novels called “At Her Beck and Call” which have been selling very briskly since I released my first novel in April of 2013.
This past June I also released my newest full length Tale of Female Domination titled “His Fall From Power”, which is the first book where I personally do not make an appearance, and it has been doing awesome on Amazon since it was released.
Since releasing my first book in 2013, I have maintained a presence on Twitter, FetLife, and FaceBook, and the number one subject which people (primarily male slaves, or men who wish that their female partner would make them a slave, as well as women who are trying to take control of their relationship and possibly turn their partner into a slave) write to me about is Male Chastity. I receive questions every single day about Male Chastity, either via my email, on FetLife, or from my website, and these are just some of the most common questions which are sent to me.
How do I introduce Male Chastity into my relationship? Which Chastity Device do you recommend? How long should I keep my slave locked up once I put him into Chastity? What should I do after I lock him up into a Chastity Cage? Will I really benefit by having my partner locked up in a Chastity Device? How can I convince my wife/partner to lock me up? Do you really think that Male Chastity is necessary if I want to have a Female Led Relationship with my husband/partner? The questions just keep on coming every day to me which tells me that there is an interest in Male Chastity out there unlike anything I have seen before.
Thus, I decided that the best way for me to answer those questions and all the other questions which exist out there today about Male Chastity was to write this book, which I like to think will become a “Primer on Male Chastity” written by someone who really knows the subject. I have enforced Male Chastity with my own husband in our marriage since I met him thirteen years ago, and I have been the Keyholder for a countless number of men who have come to see me for professional domination over the years. I know the subject matter well and I’ve learned over the years what works and what doesn’t really work. With me, you are not getting theory. You are getting advice from a real life perspective.
If you are a woman who is seriously considering implementing Male Chastity into your relationship with your partner, then this book will be a good guide and help you as you build a Female Led Relationship. If you are a man who wants to know what it really would be like if you allow that special partner (Keyholder) to lock up your private parts, then this book will definitely give you a more realistic view of what lies ahead for you if you are locked into a Chastity Device.
I’ve laid out this book so that you can read actual experiences I have had with some of the male slaves (names changed of course) who I have put into enforced Chastity (including my own husband), and how I have helped some women implement Male Chastity into their marriage and relationships. I will give you all of the details in each specific case. I will also then present to you my evaluation of different Male Chastity devices on the market today, as well as the methods I employ utilizing the male chastity devices in my Female Domination lifestyle.
Many consider enforced Male Chastity to be just one part of the Female Domination lifestyle, and I agree with that totally; But I can tell you without any doubt, that if done properly, it is definitely the most important technique a woman has at her disposal to achieve a successful Female Led Relationship with her partner, where once locked up in a Chastity Device, the male’s primary focus will then always be on the comfort, pleasure, and satisfaction of his Keyholder.
Because of the many articles which exist today on the internet (many which are pure fiction) about male chastity, a lot of men fantasize about having a woman lock up their genitals in a chastity device, and they find the idea to be a real sexual turn on. That in and of itself, will give most women an advantage when they actually want to implement male chastity into their relationship and get their partner to submit to being locked up.
Let me assure you right now that there is a big difference between the fantasy which many men have of being locked in a chastity device, and the actual reality which sets in when a woman does lock her man’s cock in a chastity tube and takes control of the key, and of all of his future orgasms. After thirteen years of holding the key to the chastity devices which have been locked on my husband’s cock, I can tell you that all the cards are stacked in the woman’s favor and the real sexual pleasure and benefits are reaped by the Keyholder, not the slave. That’s why I love male chastity and encourage every woman to make it an integral part of her marriage or relationship.
Hopefully, after you read some of my actual experiences with male chastity which I’ll present in this book, and you evaluate the benefits which can be achieved from a very minimal amount of work on the part of the Keyholder in a relationship, you too will want to get a Male Chastity Cage locked on your partner as soon as possible. Believe me, you’ll be glad that you did and your life will become wonderful!
Why Implement Male Chastity Into Your Relationship?
When we start our discussion about male chastity, the first thing we need to review is how males think and act, and why understanding their basic behaviors is so important to a woman who is interested in building a Female Led Relationship.
Think back to when you and your partner were first dating. Remember how considerate and caring he probably was, and how he did little things for you to show you how special you were to him. He most likely was a lot more romantic during the time that he was courting you, and he probably also went out of his way to make sure that all of your needs were taken care of. He probably also showed some concern as to whether or not you got pleasure and satisfaction out of having sex with him, instead of just taking his pleasure and not worrying about you.
Unfortunately when a male becomes comfortable in his relationship with his partner, and this is especially true in most marriages after some time, he then becomes lazy and complacent and stops thinking about the emotional, romantic, and sexual needs of his partner. Every woman who I have talked with, has found this to be true, without exception. They all say that their partner gives his own needs and wants a much higher degree of importance, than he gives to their emotional and sexual needs.
The other fact which seems to receive a consensus among my female friends is that the only time that their partner really goes out of his way to be romantic or do something special for them is when he wants sex. As if that was not bad enough, they also have found that as soon as their husband/partner gets that sex, in most cases, he immediately reverts back to his inconsiderate or uncaring attitude towards his wife/partner’s needs.
Everything I just stated is pretty much based on the reality which exists in most male/female relationships, and should be noted as reason number one why a woman should implement Male Chastity into her marriage or relationship as soon as possible.
The next fact is one that I state often, and that is, that the male is more controlled by the head which is between his legs, than the head which is on his shoulders. Most men do not think with their brain when it comes to sexual matters. If they feel that they have a need for a sexual release, then they will act on it. Men cheat on their women in two ways. The first way is what we all recognize as traditional cheating, that is, having an affair with another woman outside of his marriage or his relationship with his partner.
The second way men cheat, and the most prominent reason why they need to be locked up in a Chastity Device is because most men will masturbate whenever they feel the desire or need for a sexual release. Think about that. If a man is masturbating and taking pleasure on his own whenever he wants it, then it is obvious that he does not give much thought to the needs or wants of his female partner.
Men are selfish. There is no way to sugarcoat that fact. If they are horny, they will take the situation into their own hands with no regard to whether or not their partner also has sexual needs which needs to be addressed.
The next fact which you need to consider is to honestly evaluate your mate’s demeanor and attitude prior to you having sex with him, and then evaluate his attitude and behavior once again after you let him put that cock of his into your treasured vagina. If you are honest, here’s what you will find. Before you have sex with him, he is doting, he is sweet, and he appears to be totally centered on your needs. After you allow him to have sex, he becomes distant, he becomes aloof, and he doesn’t really seem to be concerned about your needs. He’s ready to pick up the remote and watch his favorite show or go play on the computer, even if you would prefer that he cuddle with you for an hour after sex.
Another thing I need to point out to you which I have heard over and over again from my female friends is this: If you ask him to do something around the house with the implied promise of having sex with him when he is done doing your requested chore, he will hurry to do whatever was requested of him. Try asking him to do the same thing an hour after you gave him sex, and he will drag his feet or tell you that he will take care of it later.
Ladies, this unfortunately is reality. Now let’s look at the alternative where you, not him are in control of what happens, and how to turn the situation around so that your needs and your pleasure are the main focus of his every thought and action.
When you lock his cock up in a Chastity Tube and hold the Key to that lock on the tube, and enforce true Male Chastity, here is what happens. First, he finds out very fast, that he can no longer masturbate and get a quick sexual release when he feels that he needs it. At first, he may think that this is a sensuous sexual game, and might even be turned on by the fact that you locked up his cock. He may believe that all he has to do is ask you to unlock him and that you will do it, and then the two of you will have sex. If you are serious however, about truly utilizing Male Chastity to make a Female Led Relationship a reality where you are in control, then he will find out very fast that this is not a sex game where you are going to unlock his Chastity Tube and let him come whenever he desires.
You must be totally resolute and unbending when you implement Male Chastity into your relationship. You, not him, have to call all of the shots. You, not him, hold the key to that lock which is on his Chastity Device, and only you should determine when you want to unlock it and maybe, give him a sexual release. I say maybe give him a sexual release, because I hope that after you read this book in its entirety you will realize that most times that you unlock his chastity tube, you main purpose will be to “Tease and Deny Him”, spur him on to give you sexual pleasure with his mouth, and not to give him an orgasm. Your main purpose in locking him in a Chastity Tube is to use him for all the pleasure that you desire, and not to give him the pleasure which he desires. As long as you keep him constantly aroused and horny, he will do whatever you want because his hope is that you will then allow him to also have an orgasm.
When you keep him excited and on the verge of maybe getting a sexual release, you will find that your partner will do whatever you want, not only sexually, but also as far as any chores you want done around the house. He must constantly believe that if he gives you the pleasure you desire, then maybe, you will also allow him to have an orgasm. Obviously, your number one priority should be your pleasure and satisfaction at all times. You must not under any circumstances worry about giving him pleasure unless he has given you all the pleasure and satisfaction which you desire, and has truly pleased you by his behavior by doing everything you have asked him to do. In a true Female Led Relationship, the male’s needs must always be secondary to the needs and desires of the Wife/Mistress.
“Tease and Denial” is a very important term which you must understand and totally subscribe to if you truly want to have a Female Led Relationship where your needs are the number one priority in the relationship. As long as your male is locked up, excited, and teased and stimulated often, then he will be ready at all times to do what you require of him and his number one focus will always be on pleasing you. Since we have already established the fact that males think with their cock and not with their head, then you have to understand that as long as he thinks that there is a possibility that you will give him a sexual release, then he will do whatever you ask of him. Your husband or partner can’t afford to take the chance of displeasing you or not meeting your needs because he quickly starts to realize that if you are not satisfied and happy, then you (the Keyholder) will probably not unlock that Chastity Tube on his cock and allow him to have a release.
Let’s look at some of the changes which will take place in your relationship once your male has been locked in a Chastity Tube and understands the reality that you hold the Key to that Chastity Tube and to all of his future orgasms.
The first major change you will see in him is that he will suddenly become more attentive to you and your needs. Watch the old romance return to your relationship as he will start to do nice little things for you once again. He will start showering you with compliments on a daily basis. He may have ignored you or tuned you out in the past, but once you have his cock locked up, he’ll pay attention to every word you say and take more interest in anything that you want to talk to him about.
As far as chores around the house, tell him to do the vacuuming and dusting, take care of the laundry, go food shopping for you, scrub the bathroom tub and toilet, and watch what happens while you have his cock locked up in that Chastity Tube. If he objects at all to your request, it will probably be a weak minor objection, and can be overcome very fast by you saying “I guess you’d like me to add another week to the time that you are locked up in that tube without a release” and walk away from him. It won’t take anything else on your part to get him to do what you ask him to do.
The first time that he objects to anything that you ask of him, you can give him a warning like the one I just presented to you. However, after that, if he should ever object to any request you make of him, or disobey you, then you must absolutely add more time to him being locked up in his Chastity Tube without any chance of a release. I must also say at this point, that I firmly believe that outright disobedience should be met with discipline.